REGULAR DOCKET

Courtrooms are for stone face stares. short sentences. legal precedent.objectivity equitable maxims. counsel approaches the bench (the term used for where the judge sits) "your honor before i withdraw from this case i'd like to apologize for the defendant's girlfriend who said some very awful things about you in the hallway just before we came inside. I just wanted to let you know out of respect for our longstanding and meaningful friendship."  

Courtrooms are for donkey heads, rabbit grins, rooster cock walks, circus music, monkey back scratchin'.  coughing. lying. riding an acid trip. not for actually beating your significant other, but for building the tension that will undoubtedly result in a beating, "she earned it." 

Me in the Courtroom

Once an old crumudgeon male attorney interrupted an old female attorney ( whose monologues left listeners swimming the backstroke slowly down a meandering stream, just waiting waiting, swimming, coughing, yawning, scratching, swimming, swimming, til the point, if any ever was made), "shutup" he'd say. repeatedly. every time she began to speak. the hearing unfolded. [ find "objection" insert "shutup". 17 replacements made.]   

Judge, "I know there's some law on that point somewhere. I just don't know what it is."

Curvy stretches of smooth road, on the hillside, from the courthouse to the home, are for driving a bugatti. "Mom, noone in Arkansas has a bugatti. and noone ever will." 

Kitchens floors are for dancing. Dancing is for pulling out every move that you ever learned in any sport you ever tried. Tae kwon do. Boxing-"geez. mom. you look like you're ready to spar someone." Cheerleading tryouts for the team you never made, confirmed by your teensy daughter's observation "mom. you could never be a cheerleader."  rock climbing, add a little jump rope, the robot, salsa lessons, swing dancing. Move every muscle in your body. Channel the spirit of a house cat, leap and land. If your neck isnt sore later, did you miss the 90's?  You have hit peak performance when the once staring in disbelief children, blinking. watching. blinking. have found other more normal activities. 

You have cleared the room-success!  

"to the windows, to the wall, the sweat goes down my balls..."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcxLPkUS8_4