I SAY..YOU SAY...LET'S CALL IT OFF

I need an Enigma machine (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enigma_machine)  to encrypt and decrypt messages between him and me.

The Enigma was a machine used in military intelligence during WWII and is thought to have hastened the Allies' victory.  The machine is complicated (to me), and had to be tweaked and elevated in sophistication as time passed.

Using both mechanical and electrical subsystems, a key is pressed completing an electrical circuit and lighting a bulb indicating a different letter than the one that was pressed.  (of course there is some trickery to this, using a mathematical formula and a 1/26 of a rotation and stops and starts and redirects, etc before the bulb lights up, to complicate the decrypting)

Codebreakers then intercept messages, decode them, and pass on this new intelligence. Efforts are thwarted. Victories won. etc.

According to some, the female brain is comprised of a series of lightbulbs and circuits and mysterious key combination triggers. Press "y" , shuffle, stop, start, eek erk, tweek, pop, bling, bang, chooo chooo, wizzzzz wizzzzz, creek, creek, ...."AHA!" as the lightbulb illumates a letter "q" ...I really think we've communicated here.  

The male brain, however, resembles a piece of cement or chunk of wood---no circuits, no button, no bulbs.  The mystery is less in what is said and more in what is not done.  I say "x" i do "y". Any questions?

This whole male brain female brain stuff, I'm not buying it.  It really only comes into play when one party is being an ass, and needs an excuse---the old feigned ignorance is a handy card to throw.  Injuring by ignorance or intentional maliciousness is only relevant in criminal law. In a relationship it seems to be a failure to meet halfway. Let one party do all the work to explain why the action was hurtful and totally lacked self awareness.  repeat til exhaustion.

Secrets are for wars.  cryptic messages to keep the enemy always guessing.  But, I am not military intelligence and I'm tired of this game. 

After frenzied coded messages, the final battle, comes armistice, and comes the cold war.  Now we'll wait in silence, severed.  In time ambiguity will give way to serenity. But I won't be the one explaining what happened, speaking in more riddles. Nah. the war is over here, and i just want to find home.